I Have My Own Life

Earlier today my guides gave me the song lyric “I have my own life.” It comes from Stevie Nick’s song “Leather and Lace.” It’s a song about being in a fabulous relationship, but she is singing that she is happy in her own life. I said to my guides, “OK, I get the message. That would be a great topic for a blog.”

Many of my clients think that a significant other is going to make their life magically better.  Somehow all their problems will just disappear when their soul mate comes in. The fact is our mate is there to help us grow and learn lessons.  It is like they are holding up a huge mirror that brings up our defects and past unresolved issues, and we do the same for them. This is not a bad thing because it encourages us to grow into healthier individuals.  Love relationships also teach us compassion, patience, tolerance, how to make compromises, and honoring and respecting differences.  As you can see, a relationship does not magically make your life better. It takes a lot of work.

I constantly get calls from women wanting to know “when is he going to call me and/or when am I going to see him?”  Some of these ladies text or call their men constantly and wonder why they are not getting the response they want. Men also do this, but I see it more with women than men.  If a woman takes the focus off herself and stops making her own happiness, she automatically puts the focus on her man.  She now expects the man to make her happy, and without meaning to, becomes needy and clingy.  Her mate gets confused by her behavior and wonders what happened to the woman he loves.  He starts to pull away because he is feeling suffocated.  She reacts to his distance by pulling closer, which makes him run away even more.

My guides are always telling my clients “focus on you.”  In other words, when you are in a relationship make sure that you keep doing the things you love before you met your significant other.  Enjoy your hobbies, take classes, belong to groups, and get together with friends and family. Have your own life.  This way, when he needs space or pulls away, you will have something other than him to occupy yourself with.  If you are wondering what is going on, call or text once, tops twice, and let him get back to you.  When you leave him alone he starts to wonder, hey, how come she has not called me?  Why is she not chasing me?  What is she doing? Could she be with another guy? He will get in touch with you.

I see this happen again and again, give a man space and he returns. I also know women who hound their mates so much they lose them. Let him be, he will come back around again. If he does not, someone better is coming. Enjoy the time you have together and enjoy the time you have when you are apart. This is the key to a happier relationship.

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